"You'll always be my baby" Sara Evans

I listened to this song and can't help but be transported back in time to the days where I was "daddy's little girl".  How much I loved and adored my father.  Most of the choices I made were with cautious that I don't damage his good name and my mothers.  Charlie was a fun and loving man.  My entire childhood, thanks to him, was like a season spent playing in a park.

There was one occasion where I was on the brink of being beaten by him.  It was my Freshman year in High School and to my surprise, my very first ever boyfriend, who was a Senior made a shocking decision to drop by my house one evening.  My parents weren't home and I was the only one home.  He was drunk and I desperately wanted to get rid of him before they got home.   As a young girl, I was forbidden to take on a "boyfriend".  But in my own rebellious teen-age heart, I refused to listen.  Not a serious relationship at all.  No.  It was the "hi" and "hello" type of friendship.  Everywhere I go I seem to have a tail following me and that was my little brother or a cousin or my aunt Linda Lahi.

While frantically attempting to get rid of him, my cousin Afu decided at that moment to drop by our house.  He was furious when he saw that my boyfriend was over at my house.  He immediately ran to find my other male cousins so that they can beat up my boyfriend.  Well, I already know what was coming, so I dragged and begged my boyfriend to leave right away.  Luckily it was getting dark outside, and not a second too soon, my parents pulled up in the driveway, as my boyfriend was exiting quietly to the back road.  The most fortunate thing happened as soon as my parents pull into our driveway.  The electricity went out!  Oh my Lord that was a sign from Heaven that He was watching over me.  That I was probably not going to get beat because the whole village was in pitch darkness.  I scrambled towards the farthest living room away from the back of the house where they were going to enter into the house.   I heard my father yelping my name:  "SEEELLLLAAA where are you?"

Of course they couldn't see a thing and I was far away so I yelled back.  "I'm here in the house dad!"  He shouted back:  "If it weren't for the electricity going out, I'd have belt you right now girl." My male cousins outside the house were running around in search of the boyfriend.  Little did they know he was long gone.

The part of the video where she lost her innocence and knew she'd let God down touched me.  To some girls, their innocence might be a burdensome thing.  They can't wait to get rid of it.  But to others that treasures their innocence, once they cross the line, think that they're probably "too far gone".  Fortunately, God is a God of forgiveness, goodness, mercy and love.  We are never too far gone.  He will always love us no matter what and where we are in this life.  WE are His children.

What a beautiful and touching song.  I feel the same way about my children.   Sometimes  the choices they make may temporarily dazzle me.  But there will always be forgiveness and love in my heart for them.  I treasure the short time I have with my children.  I see other people that are not part of my family the same way.  In this up-our-nose full of contradictions life, there will always be room for forgiveness, love and kindness. 

Amazing Grace

"My chains are gone,  I've been set free
My God, my Savior  has ransomed me
And like a flood,  His mercy rains.
Unending love, amazing grace."

When I think about these words, I want to flung myself to the ground and weep tears of gratitude and joy.  At the same time raise my hands in the air and scream Hallelujah at the top of my lungs!  That I, so insignificant and undeserving, have been snatched from the jaws of hell.  My sins have been bought and paid for with the blood of His Only Begotten Son Jesus Christ.  How, then can I not strive to be the best that I can be.  To make a difference for good.

On Sundays I love listening to gospel music.  This is one of my favorite old time songs.  Except it's slightly  a little different from the original arrangement yet when I hear the lyrics it never fails to evoke tremendous gratitude from within.  It gets me teary every single time.

Yesterday, I accompanied my nephew Zack on the piano while he sang this song.  He is so young and have a beautiful voice and while he sings, I just wanted to cry.  I wondered if Zack even realize the words that his mouth utters.  How deep and how true it is, that all in all, it will be His MERCY and His GRACE that will save us all.   That we may stray so far away to the edge yet his unending love will follow us.  He will never give up on us even when we give up on ourselves. 

God is great and good.   His son Jesus Christ my Savior and Redeemer.  He and only He has "ransomed me". 

Amazing Grace
How Sweet the sound
That Saved a Wretch like Me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see.

My whole life, I have always be a God loving, God fearing person because I had goodly parents that planted that seed in my heart until I know for myself and see for myself His role in my life and in this life.   

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow, the sun forbear to shine,
But God who called me here alone will be forever mine.

I stand truly AMAZED at His AMAZING GRACE.

"Silver Linings" by Kacey Musgraves

I've blogged about Kacey Musgraves in my original blog "Not so over the hill".  Totally became a fan when my daughter Sisilia introduced the song to me.  That was the "Merry Go Round" song.  I introduced the song to my son and then my son introduced me to this song a few months later.  "Silver Linings".  He has downloaded all Kacey's song and a great fan of her work. 

What I love about "Silver Linings" is the same reason why I love "Merry Go Round".  You listen to the lyrics and you think, "Man, she's so right."

"Woke up on the wrong side of rock bottom
We're all out of pennies and the well is done run dry."  
I can't count how many times in my life I've empty out our piggy banks because we ran out of money.  Those pennies go to Smith's Coinstar machine and it gets us through to the next day.  With gas, with food or laundry.  But you know what, it's okay.  That is just part of life.  And life is always beautiful.

"If you're ever gonna find a silver lining, there's gotta be a cloudy day."  This line reminds me of the saying:  "Things will get worse before they get better."  I have learned to be patient.  To endure well and life has taught me to be patient.  I hope my kids will eventually learn this important trait, patient.  In a generation where everything is at the tips of your fingers and handed to you instantly, you've still got to learn to be patient.  Things will come to you, but you've got to wait for it.  My daughter screams when her phone doesn't provide what she needs immediately.  This reminds of a video my trainer showed us at work.  Conan with C.K Louis about cell phones.  "You have to wait 'cause it's going out to space and then back!"  LOL. 

"If you're ever gonna find a four leaf clover, you gotta get a little dirt on your hands."  Yes, hard work always pays off.  I'm back to a 9-5 job and it's just at the perfect timing.  Before when my children were still little, and we needed a little more cash, I'd sit at an office and thought, "Even $100 per hour will not be worth my children's time".  I needed to be at their crossroads.   So I quit.  Found a work from home job and we were home free.  The bible always say that a lazy man can not wear a working man's cloth or eat a working man's bread.  I didn't mind the raggedy old car and the shabby house.  Soon enough I can get those things when my children are grown and gone and I'm back to work full force.  Well now I back to the rugged world of 9-5 and out of the house, it feels good and I'm looking forward to nicer things.

"If you want to fill your bottle up with lightning, you gotta have to stand in the rain."
"If you want to find a head to fit your shoulder, you've gonna have to go to the dance"
"If you wanna find a honey, you can't be scared of the bees."
"If you wanna see the forest, you're gonna have to look past the trees."

The arrangement of all her songs are simple but her lyrics are far from that.  They are deep and outrageously familiar.   She sings about the reality of life.  The oppositions that we face on a daily basis and that there's always a "SILVER LININGS".  I love Kacey Musgraves' music.  I know I'll post more about her and her upcoming songs that I haven't got a chance to hear.

"Temporary Home"

Could this song be more fitting?  This evening I found a FB message from my friend Tupou whose son, Sione, was just shot this past weekend, requesting that my daughter Sisilia sings at his funeral.  Two songs came to mind.  Both by Carrie underwood.  "Temporary Home"  and  "How Great Thou Art".  She has until Friday to decide which one she wants to do
It's after three this morning as I awaken to attend the little room, all I could think of was that, here I am peacefully asleep, free of worries or pain.  Contend with my life and with my children.  And then I think about Tupou.  Suffering and grieving for her one and only son Sione.  I can not begin to comprehend the pain she must be enduring right now.
My husband went to their home yesterday morning to take food and to give our condolences.  He had a chance to talk to Sione's father Haini.  The saddest words were spoken by this father:  

"All I could think of when I saw Sione lying there was that, "I wish I could have taken his place.  I've lived my life and Sione's was just beginning to live his.  I wish I could have trade places with him".

He also said that Sione's friends in West Valley were gathering to avenge Sione's death.  The shooting itself was gang related and they have already arrested someone.  Sadly these are kids of beloved people that our ties goes all the way back to the island.  They grow up here in America and instead of resolving to fist fights like we do back in the island, they've adapt themselves to using deadly but cowardly ways of guns where you shoot people in the back and run off to hide instead of manning up to what you've done.  The Police are still looking for the rest of the boys that were inside the car.  Soon enough they will all be found.

Anyways, Sione's friends thought that Sione's dad would be on the same page with them in revenging Sione's death.  Contrary to their thinking, Haini said:  "Sione is my son, not yours.  If I wanted revenge, I'd do it myself.  I can go and take out the whole family if I wanted to by myself.  I don't need anyone doing it for me."    He then told them to go home to their parents and leave things be.  I pray no other lives will be lost through this.  There's enough pain going around in the world. 

I love Carrie Underwood's song "Temporary Home".  The fact that we walk through this life like passing through rooms is in itself amazing.  We're just travelers, journeying through this wonder place called earth.    Birth, childhood, adolescent, adulthood and then eventually death.   This is not a permanent place for us.
No indeed.  It is truly our:  "Temporary Home". 

I believe that our spirit lives on eternally.  We will see Sione again soon.  Just like, I will see my beloved mother when I die.  Death seems so final to those who don't believe.  For those who believes, they understand it is not the end.  Death to me, is just another door we pass through as we progress within God's great and glorious plan.  The Plan of Salvation. 

Of Monsters and Men: "Little Talks"

When this song came on, I found myself nodding my head to the beat.  I was in the car driving with the kids.  The unique tune and the hauntingly sweet female voice drew me.  I  made a mental note to look them up on youtube as soon as I get home.  The group's name itself threw me off.
OF MONSTERS AND MEN?  What kind of name is that?  Then I watched the Official Video and became more drawn to the strangeness of it all.

I just had to see how they look like.  So I typed in the LIVE version and wa la, there they are.  A bunch of talented young men and a girl, strumming their guitars, one drummer and another playing the oh-so-old-fashioned Accordion.  For Pete's sake I thought those things were extinct!  But "Little Talks" has a catchy happy tune with an old fashioned touch to it.  I wondered why they call it "Little Talks".

As I became familiar with the lyrics, it was like a flicker of flame lighting up my mind.  "Little Talks" is literary  just that!  They're having little talks or "small talks" throughout the whole song.  It became apparent they were childhood friends.  Grew up, fell in love and probably married and living in their own house.  Somehow, somewhere in time, perhaps insecurities, doubts or may be depression sets in.  She's hearing voices or going through a phase and her beloved is trying to offer his help (come hold my hand I'll walk with you my dear)  Or may be she's not satisfied with the way their lives are turning out.  Which is not foreign to a lot of married couple in real life. 

Eventually, they're torn apart by whatever demon haunts her.    But in their last desperate attempt to still stay together they both shouts: "Wait wait wait for me, please hang around.."  

Thou the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shores!"

This SHIP I prefer to think of as their LOVE!  It will carry them safe to shore.  

Everything else, their problems, their doubts and uncertainties are buried with their past.

How about that?  I've become a Music Analyst just listening to this song.  LOL.  Monster and Men are my new favorite group.

"It Won't Be Like This For Long"

For days now I've been contemplating creating a Musical Blog.  Blogging about where music takes me because MUSIC transport me everywhere.  To a Heavenly place, back in time, up to the future and sometimes it makes me cry because it reminds of someone.  Doesn't necessarily have to be a particular person.  No, people in my life, like my mother that has passed away.  My carefree childhood days back in the island.  Where my life totally depends on mom and dad and auntie Peta.  Music creates a yearning for things as they use to be in my childhood and the inevitable that only belongs to the future!

My baby girl Beverly Shania turned 12 on the 10th.  She's a young woman and determined not to sleep on our bed any longer.   I remember the day she was born, such a beautiful baby.  She's the last of my children.  All my girls are all grown up now.  Last night I kiss them one by one.  I shower my children every day with hugs and kisses because we'll never now what time may bring.

This song by Darius Rucker puts a smile on my face and a slightly small dagger in my heart.  Because he slowly takes me back to various stages of my childrens' lives.  When they were newborns and we thought the miserable and endless nights of agony waking up tending to them and sleep deprived will never end.  Up to the smelly diaper days where I was figuring out: 365 days x 5 to 6 changing with 7 children, two and a half years each.  That equals 30660 times of changing foul smelling diapers.  How did I survive?

Wheewww!  I thought it was never going to end.

In their older and more rebellious teen-age years where I wanted to send them back to the womb and let them remain there.   But this song  is so very true.   Especially the chorus part:  "IT Won't be like this for long...This phase is gonna fly by so baby just hold on.  It won't be like this for long".

"...He'd been up all nite Lay'n there in bed listen'n To his new born baby cry."

"One day soon you'll drop her off and she won't even know you're gone..." 

"Some day soon she'll be a teen-ager and he'll think that she hates him.."

"...Then he'll walk her down the isle"...

"One day soon that littel girl is gonna be all grown up and gone."

 Makes me cry all the time when he sings this line.  My oldest Sisilia is 22.  She's not married yet but one day she will.  Then one day soon enough, they will be all gone.  Darius Rucker is one of my all time favorite singer.  Even back to the days when he was part of the old timer group "Hootie and the Blowfish".  Love him then and love him now.